Monday, June 16, 2008

Side Roads On My Journey In Life...

Sometimes I find myself on lil side-roads of my journey in life. Often those side-road trips are pleasant surprises for me... other times they're side-roads seemingly paved with sharp, ragged-edged rocks and big boulders in the middle of my path... I find myself getting bruised, cut, bleeding and frustrated to the point of hot tears burning in my eyes. Then, sadly, I find myself opening the door to doubt. And it is just not one thing I begin to doubt... it's many.

I start questioning myself... am I smart enough? am I strong enough? am I witty enough? am I compassionate enough? am I friendly enough? am I clever enough? am I pretty enough? You see the pattern... Usually those questions are easily enough answered, once I calm down and think things through in a rational way.

However... it's when one of those side-roads leads to that door of doubt that's slowly opening before me with seemingly no help on my part... when I begin to really believe I'm in trouble. Those are the worse times for self-doubt and questioning. I begin to wonder about my faith in God. I don't know about y'all, but that does happen with me... and, honestly, it scares me to death. It simply goes against everything I was taught... everything I believe in. And so I struggle against that door. I try hard to remember that God wants me to hold tight to my faith. He wants me to take baby steps and not forget that He will help me, but I also have to attempt to help myself with Him at my side.

As I've been writing this post... basically just rambling away to get things off of my chest... I remembered back in April, I was tagged to write "My Life Motto" in six words. My motto is just a reminder to myself to have faith in God. Now I just need to keep that motto in front of me just a lil bit more than I have been. Thanks for listening...

God bless...

Until another time...


Connie said...

Honey, I hear ya!! There is a plan and a mission for all of us here on this earth today. Our goal is to know that plan and become the person Christ and our Heavenly Father want us to be. Fear/Doubt do not dwell in the same place as faith! If you doubt you don't have faith. Just pray for more faith and for Him to remove the doubt or unbelief. Remember Doubting Thomas in the scriptures. I have no fear that you'll make it!

Are you smart/pretty/passionate/compassionate/witty/friendly/clever enough??? Yes, you are! He loves us even if we're not very pretty and trust me, I've seen some very "unpretty" people in my life. So buck up, pray, get into a positive attitude and know there are people in this world who care about you and One person out of this world who definitely cares about you.

I am by nature a positive person and so upbeat sometimes it drives people nuts - can I say Hubs here??

Come over and visit with me on the blog and you'll be upbeat!! How could you not be with sweet/friendly/upbeat/positive/old/witty/funny/humorous ME?!?!!


luvmy4sons said...

Yes there is a plan unknown to you. Hold on! I understand your ramblings! I do! Hugs to you!

Deb said...

Oh Pearl, you're no different from the rest of us. We all have those feelings sometimes. We just pick up and know that He's God and hold on to Him like no tomorrow. I pray that you have better days ahead. You are such a courageous, loving and gifted person. Deb

Sharon said...

Wow! What a great post. I go through the same things and have to remember that God made me and God don't make junk! God does have a plan. It is sad that the pressures of society and hollywood make us doubt ourselves so much. Crazy! Especially when I don't even vaule Hollywood and the lack of morals. Why do I think I have to be skinny enough, young enough, smart enough...etc. We need to stick with what God says in His word.

Have a great day!


P.S. Thank you for lightening up that picture for me, that's very nice and it turned out great!

Feathering My Nest said...

Dear Pearl, You are so much like me. I too, doubt and have some fear I need to conquer. My worst problem happens to me occassionally; about every six months. I feel this huge cloud of depression. I feel worthless, and that I have done not one good thing in my life. I feel as though God is real and is powerful, but that He couldn't possibly find me useful. It's so weird. I know it isn't true. I know that God does love me, and can use even my weaknesses, but those dark days are terrible. Once, I put out the SOS, and every friend either called or emailed and told me I was not nuts, and that I was going through the "Change." I am not sure, but I do know that God was behind all of those loving dear friends who responded.

Last week it all of a sudden dawned on me, something I already knew, but had escaped my thinking. It was that God's WORD is a powerful weapon that Satan wants us to forget we possess. I did quote Scripture outloud after that, and found it very effective. Satan just can not stand up against Scripture. The TRUTH is God does love us. Satan doesn't want us to remember that part. He is not one bit afraid of us, so he taunts us and teases us. He is TERRIFIED of the BLOOD of CHRIST, and what Jesus accomplished on the cross for us.

I just found your blog through Sharon, and I like it very much. God bless you dear. I truly pray that you are feeling the presence of our Lord right now. Hugs, Kathi